Addicted.

Why does my family continue to make this so difficult? It is my choice what i do. It is my life. I will learn from my mistakes, grow and prosper from past misfortunes. I will make the decision to which i think is necessary at the time and if it is the wrong one, well ill never regret what once made me happy.
i can see where they are coming from. I just wish they could see it from my perspective. Feel the things im feeling. Know What logical reasonings are forming in my mind.

Please dont take this opportunity away from me.

I'm sorry I'm not perfect.

"I am only one, but still I am one.
I can't do everything, but still I can do something.
And because I can't do everything, I will not refuse to do the something I can."
A random's facey wallpost on the page
"I'm sorry I'm not perfect"
<3

MyWorld.

They mean the most to me. They are my World. I would be nothing without them.
Every moment I spend with them, my world is complete. <3
TomHermans<3. CourtneyAbramow. JosephCroger. BrigitteHolt. MelindaBrown. JenniferParkes. DanielleKelly. NicholasPeers. MarianaPaisSoto. JessicaNeale.
I love you all. You are the reason to my happiness :)

Special Someone,

There seems to be this pretty amazing kid in my life right now, :)

I adore talking to him, being with him, thinking of him, :) Makes my heart jump.

ILoveYouKid :)

"I think I'm falling for you"

Belonging.

I wish there was a place that everyone could belong. I wish there was no discrimination, no exclusion, no racism; nothing that made somebody an outcast.


I don’t understand how people can judge others because of a physical feature… It isn’t their choice that they look like they do. Just because they are different, just because they are the minority, people choose to ridicule and embarrass, to harass and punish. The thing is though, ‘Who defines perfection?’. Who has the power to state what perfection is? Who has the right to treat people badly because they are not like them? For all we know, the victim could be the perfect one, and everyone else is different. Just because there are a lot of people with the same physical characteristics, does not mean they are perfect.

To belong means to be accepted. All the faults and failures are understood and not judged.

Hello (original)- Gloria Lee

This is so adorable, :)

Im a Pioneer Bitch, :D

Hell Yes! :D Just spent an hour and a half on Mcfly.com and i am now officially a SUPERCITY PIONEER! :D
My holidays have just been madeeee. :D

Dynamite, Mcfly Coverr, LOVEE

lookbook.love

ARGH I JUST GOT A LOOKBOOK! :D just made my day, (L)

Over exposure

Overexposure is my favourite type of personal photographyy, I used to do it alll the time ayee? :)
I think I should get back into it because it looks so sweet, (Y)
Ive had some great ideas for my photoblog too, After exams I will be snap snap happy, :D
Off for some more studyy...

http://lookbook.nu/look/1037151-ver-min-d-da-kropp

http://lookbook.nu/look/1037151-ver-min-d-da-kropp
How CUTEE is this boy?? :D
I just found him on Lookbook, (L)
I desperately want an account!!

adoption.

A few months ago, there was this girl who was helping me with my lines for the production. It turned out she was my understudy and she had a plot to kill me because she wanted the part.
She was filling in for my partner's understudy at the time because neither of them were there.
:)
I couldnt remember her name, and I thought she was SUPER WEIRD. She went for a run with one of her friends and just left me sitting there by myself for a good 5 minutes! -_-

Then ages later on the sunday practice, she was with me again. We laughed a hell of a lot, :)
I think this was when I became pretty close with her and her friends :)
 They are all super cool, except for her, she is still weird..
;)


Anyway,
This kid that was helping me at the beginning turns out to be my sister :)
Because we are that awesome.
And the weird kid is actually now a cool kid. haha
Love you Jess!
:)

Bloglovin' ?

Just found some really sweet photoblogs.. But when I clicked on them it sent me to bloglovin'. I Have no idea how to use that! But I apparently made one when I clicked follow...
Anybody care to help me with this? hah

Creativity.

I started writing a story today. It is based on true events, something that happened today that made me think. :) I felt very creative on my way to piano, so I got down the start, (Y)
I always feel so creative.. But i never do anything with the creativity. It really isnt cool.
So I thought this afternoon's events were bloggable :)
Thnakyou for reading maybe my most interesting blog yet.

100th post.

This time I am sure it is my 100th post! :)
Posts that I have actually posted... I have over 100 posts all together... Really, what is the point of writing a post if I am not going to post it? Silly silly.
Although, I am sure I had a reason.
Time to celebrate! How about have 2 weeks of exams?
Great idea... -_-
So NOT looking forward to these. Most definitely will be my biggest ones yet.
Starting off, lets begin with a 3 hour Religion exam including 2 essays, 8 short responses, and 20 multiple choices.
And then move onto Maths... How about some Bio, then a well deserved day off... My only one I might add.
And then back into it for the enjoyable Legal.
Woo the weekend.
I'm off for an 18th... Oh silly me.. In the middle of my prelims! :S
And then back to it, beginning with Extension Maths, Chem, Bio Prac and to finish my most exciting one, English Oral! :)
The END! Off to the snow (Y)
Danielle's Birthday and Father's Birthday on Sunday and then Monday and Her party the following weekend, (Y) Tim Burton themed thankyou very much, (L)

And that is my next 4 weeks all summed up into a very depressingly short and uninteresting post.

Wow.

She blew me away.
<3

Youth and road trauma forum.

Today was a pretty good day. Very confronting.
It basically reinforced all my ideas and decisions about drink driving and speeding and all that.
I cried a bit in the personal stories of crash survivors, and in the reinactment of a crash.
It was a very good day, I just wished people appreciated it more.
Nobody is invincible as I said after watching that video I saw on FB one day,
 http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1175364584&v=wall&story_fbid=138554572833159#!/video/video.php?v=1388779851607&ref=mf
I dont know how to post it here as I dont know what to look for on youtube, so there is a link.
I basically balled my eyes out watching this. :'(

Violet, Violet, Violet.

Oh my goodness.
It is over.
The production.... Its over :(
All the fun times and mega close relationships, are all just lingering memories.
But memories I will remember forever!
I had such an amazing 15 or so weeks, and the thursday and friday evening performances just made it all finish on such a high!
I miss them all already and it is only saturday night!

I really hope there is SOMETHING i can do in the next one! Because acting in it isn't looking to promising at the moment. The stupid rule of no year 12s... hmph.
I'm now looking forward to next year's music night and Dio sounds ANDDDD Show choir! :D :D because hopefully some of them come and join in with that! :)

Anyways, I really wanted to cry last night, but I don't know... My adrenalin was still pumping and I think I was dehydrated, so there was nothing for me TO cry out! (N) I got teary though before it started and after when I was talking to Mrs Lucas!!

Sarah-ellen said last night,

'Jaime, I don't know what we were so worried about, It's obvious now that there's no way we can lose these friendships. p.s. if you need cheering up, change your language to pirate, it just keeeps getting funny'

And it is so true! we just had so much fun and I can't see the loss of these friendships anytime in the near future! :)

I think it just felt so depressing because it was straight away the weekend. Like, everyone is full of this adrenalin before during and after the show, with the goodbyes.. and then you get in the car... and, Bam, you're alone... :(

But come Monday... :D Smiling faces again! Which is odd because I'm not normally excited for Mondays. lol

Even if I can't be in it next year, I am going to Both! :) I might ask if I can go backstage with them and atch the other!

(Y)

Well, the memories of the past 15 weeks and especially this last one, are going to stick with me for a long time yet! (Y)

I LOVE ALL MY ANCHORS AWEIGH CAST AND CREW! <3

PRODUCTION!!!

Wow, It has been a whole year since I started my blog! :O
And I am talking about the production again.
Except, this time I am not wittnessing it, I am IN IT. :)
It is so much fun, and I will be so sad when it is over. :(
It has been great to become friends with the younger students, It has sort of been my release for the past about month. Things were getting a bit stressfull. But they were always there to laugh with.. and at. :)
And I just love them all to bits.

I am so effing excited for tomrrow night, except there is a big hurdle I have to get over before the performance.. :S
CAPTAIN SPEECHES! I have basically memorized my whole thing, but still, It is quite scary!
I really do hope I get it!
I havent been forcefully advertising myself because I don't want to be pushing people into voting for me. I would love to get it because the people who voted for me, actually believe I will be a good leader, and not just a popularity vote, or because I asked the most people to vote for me.
Tomorrow, I will ask the student body as a whole to vote, and then leave it up to them.
:)

Oh but anyway, back to the production...
SO MUCH FUN!
I hope heapss of people turn up!! It will be sooo good, :)

Violet, signing outt. :D hahha

Anchors Aweigh.

Well, the production is happenine NEXT WEEK. :D
So excited! Except it was our last practice today and Karolina wasn't there! :O
We have a dress rehearsal on monday and a matinee performance on Tuesday and Thursday and Friday nights are the big ones! :)
I got my costume all sorted, (Y)
I don't think I look gangsta though, lol.
OOOO, I get a cap gun! :D :D I took some caps today and shot the whole round., (Y) :)

7.8.10

Well, yesterday was pretty darn fun! :)

I went to Mel's house at like 8am, and then we went out on the Stockton sand dunes with her family and two Japanese exchange students! :D 

I have only ever gone driving on a beach on Fraser Island!

We found the lost tin city, a shipwrecked boat, and a shit load of sand. Mel and I also had sword fights with some planks we found at the bottom of a pretty darn big dune. :)

Her dad totally almost rolled the truck too :O And yes, I call it a truck :) 

Then when we got back to Mel's house, We played connect four with Chihiro, and Junpe.. I failed at that. 

and then I beat Chihiro in Chess! :O Fluke-ing FTW :)

THENN, Mel made my hair look all pretty with curls, and Brig arrived about 530-ish. 

Off we drove to WB Maccas to pick up Cam and Josh. God love Mel having her P's! :D

And being such the cool kids we are, we drove to speers point to check out the would-be ROCKIN' party goin on down there... HAH. 

Well it was goin off alright. The one girl sitting in her car by herself looked like she was having a fantastic time! hahha. 

When theres no party.. Make your own. :) SO, we blasted out some shveet tunes through mels beast, and rocked out in the middle of the road. (Y) And then the girl drove away. HAHA. 

James turned up, and then left, after informing us of where he was going and leaving half his tyres on the road beside us.

And then Syksie with his car load turned up, and we decided to follow them into the Bonfire at the Foreshore.  On arrival, the fireworks began... and by the time we got to the gates... had finished -_- We were only like two hours late from open time and the fire started an hour after it opened.. AND it was already out and everything was over.. Except for the shitty mosh in front of the stage. 

Well the security guards wouldn't let us in so we jumped the fence and/or, in my, brig's, hannah and mattmeares case, climbed through the fence Julius opened for us. :) hahah

And then went and partied hard in the 'mosh pit'.

But that got a little boring so we went for a walk around the area, and then out to the carpark with everybody else :)

Stood there in the cold for ages chillin and laughing at the drunks. Oh and us girls went for a walk out on the beach and someone mooned us! :O ahhha. 

Mel went and got her car, that we had parked at the OCEAN BATHS! :O and then everybody went over to speers point and from there we just did much the same as we had done in the car park at newy, lol. Chilled and laughed. :)

Mel, Brig and I left about 1030ish, i think it was, and headed back to Mels. Cam was still partyin on down and Josh had to work. 

Brig's brother Dean came and picked us two up and took us home. :) So sleepy.

Had a fantastic night. :)

It was so great because I didn't drink and i still had an awesome time! :) 

Success. 

legal ishues.

Sitting in legal next to the sluzzzzzzzzzz JenniferLea :)
Mr tavner is a fool. Hah.
He has repeated the same thing like a millionn times :S

I got over my fringe today. SO im sporting the wispy look. -_-
I actually have no fringe anymore.

jenn rules so much
and i am a man and have a penis
just thought id let you all know that :)



;)

Jam packed

Had quite a jam packed week this one just gone. But, it was fulfilling.
Only one day of school work, :|
Thankgoodness my three exams next week don't rely on any of the work done in the classes of the previous week! Other wise i would be screw-ed!
On Tuesday Danielle Dad and I went with Grandad and motored Pleasure Lady up to Marmong :'( She got sold the next day. It is so sad because she was so much a part of the family.
I'm glad that we got to enjoy that one last voyage before she was gone. I'm scared to go over to his house now because it will just look so wrong without the boat sitting out the front :(

All good things must come to an end.
I hate that about life.
The bad things always seem to linger, while the good seem to be gone in an instant.

We watched
'The boat that rocked' tonight. Quite a good movie! :D It has Rhys Darby in it!! :D :D
Then after we watched 'Catholic Boys'. That was quite good too :)
I have some maths study ahead of me tomorrow. Joy.
-_-

blurgh.

Ew. Cold Hot Chocolate and yucky fruit salad. The strawberries taste awful.

oups.

Ohk, well it turns out i havn't actually posted 100 posts... -_-
I have written 105, and have, obviously, about 10 saved in drafts. Hhaha.
So in theory... I didn't actually miss my 100th post... Cuz i havn't Posted it! hahha.
Pheww. That just made my life a whole lot better.

That Man

If you wanna make the world a better place, Well take a look at yourself and make that Change.
Drew Dawson, You do MJ proud!
<3

-

I feel like I am losing you.
I feel like I am losing all of you.

Belated 100th post!

:O I totally missed my Hundredth post! Shame!
I was probably bitching about something. That seems to be about all i do on here these days. -_-

Anyways,
Today was my only day of school this week. How exciting! :D
Tomorrow, I'm going on Grandads boat with him up to Marmong... :( He is selling it. It is so much a part of the family i dont want to see it go.. but after grannie has dies. It is just to much for him these days.. :(
Ahwell, all good things must come to an end.
Then wednesday is a pupil free day.. :D
And thursday, Forgacs Excursion! So excited!
The Friday I have the production at school all day.
What a great week ahead!
But then week three meets me with three assessment task exams! :|
2u maths, extension maths and a chem prac.. :S
Thankgoodness i started my summaries in the holidays and i am catching up on my missed pracs. Hahha.

Have a good week everyone.
Oh it is fantastic to have Mel and Brig back! Finally. :)

MJ cover.

Love This.
One of my favourite covers!

Goodbye to old.

It was nice knowing the old you.
Some people just move on.
I think we can all see where you are going.
Things being like they were are out of the question these days.
Pity. We could have had a great time.

Yellow.

I swear the last time i looked at my blog, i had 98 posts...
Now i only have 97. Or rather, after this it will be 98... haha

I just got home from my Aunties hair salon.
You are reading her Next Salon Assistant! :D How exciting!
I played with one of her Dolly's tonight and did her hair. If I may say so myself, It looks quite nice! :D
I got to bring it home to play around with until next week. :D
Because we all know Danielle, the charming sister she is, Hates people playing with her hair.. Especially ME. -_-

Today I got help with my unfinished chem pracs.. THANKGOD. I was soo behind. The last one i completed was about 2 and a half months ago, :S

BRIG and MEL are coming back on Saturday i think it is. Thank goodness. I have missed them something shocking. Jealous though that they went to the snow! hahha.

Mathermatiques, I am quite enjoying at the moment! :O I am actually understanding! Contrary to my past post about not understanding the next topic! hahah
Is it wierd that i find the extension stuff easier to understand then the 2u?
Extension Trig atm. (Y)
:)
ENGLISH, you can go jump. Macbethhh.
What else...
Legal. PFFT. when do i ever care?
Religion, I HATE YOU STUPID ASSIGNMENT!
Biology, Bring on the remake of Huxley and Wilberforce for Sleek Geeks! :D

I hope i get the gym membership soon. Im so pumped! :)

You're a Wizard, Harry!

Harrrry Potttttterrr! :)
Love, <3
Had a marathon this weekend. Cannot wait for Novemeber 11th for numero7 to come out! :D SOOO excited!

Just sittin' here doing my religion assigment, listening to JBiebs., :D
Fantastic start to the term, I got a legal assignment first period, I'm not understanding Chem already, I looked like a stunned mullet in Ext because I know I'm not going to understand this topic, :S and I'm annoyed in English because I hate the stupid subject! -_-
Some one kid nap me and take me back to primary school!

JBiebss.

:O I just allowed myself to listen to Justin Bieber! hahha
I wasnt letting myself hear his songs because i knew i would get obsessed! And i thought this afternoon, what the heck?! And listened to all the songs on his youtube channel! :O
hahha, :)
Love love love love.
Maybe not as much as Tori, but still, :) hahha

Francais.

I just changed the language on my blog to French :D Because i am that cool.
I also went for a drive today, all the way to Dungog, and then had a cheese and ham croissant that took FOR EVER to come out because they burnt it the first time, -_- And then i got sick because of the amount of cheese they put on in apology for it being late.
And then we went and looked at the cabins we'll be staying in for my grandmothers 80th birthday, :)
It was a nice day, and now i am thinking of excuses to get out of my religion assignment... Its going to come back and bite me though, i just know it!

DRAMATIC chipmunk

:D

With my newfound knowledge of video posts on blogs, i am going crazyy, :D

Danielle is so intelligent.

Danielle had an epiphany just then...
Eww look at this orange juice when i pour it. (its all gluggy and thick) Its Off!
*drinks it*
Yuck it tastes disgusting!

:O No way!!?! Its OFF dumbass, ofcourse it tastes disgusting.

Thankyou Tori :)

Tori just taught me how to put a video on my blog, SO obvious, -_-
hahha, :)

Watch this, You'll get a giggle i reckon. :)

YOUTUBEE?

I cannot work out how to post videos from youtube on my blog, :S
It is annoying me because there is one i would really love to share. Hhaha.
:)

In other news, today is laserr tagg, :D              It is also Bastille Day for the french, :O
Afterwards, my bio group + Jordan, are coming over to film our long awaited biology video, -_-
I hope it turns out ohkayyy,
We dont have many costumes though, :S :S :S :S

KERTIII PAHK

Kerti, you are my newest obsession :)
Your photography is so inspiring
http://kertiii.blogspot.com/
http://lookbook.nu/user/65177-Kerti-P
http://paint-me-yellow.blogspot.com/
http://freeview.deviantart.com/

Bonjour.

The long awaited holidays are almost here! :D
Can't wait :)
Its about time to hang out again. So much schoolwork has just smothered my life. Hha.
HELLOOO freedom. :D

22.6.10

Well Andrew, Sorry about today.
It just got to a point we could not stand it any longer.

Don't you dare use my blogs against me.
These are my personal thoughts and your choice to read them.
I write them as though nobody will read them which is my understanding to be the point of my blog. To speak my mind and get my thoughts and concerns out of my head.
My calling you a 'Dog' is my  personal description of the way I feel about you following us everywhere. I have never called you a lapdog so thankyou very much for that accusation. I'm guessing this was from Christian, think twice about your sources from now on.
Oh and I'm sorry, but did I give you permission to advertise my blog on your facebook? I think not.


 

Because Facebook is full of Love :)

well jaime your my bestfriend so i hate everything about you hahaha kidding
i love how we spend so much time together,
i love how even if we fight we get over it minutes later and are at it again.
and i love our ammo against each other even though i have so much more on you than you have on me :P
i love out bitches there the best,
i love fruit salad ahaha,
i love that you always want to be an individual together (idiot)
i love our concerts that we put on when we were in year 7
i love it when you hurt me oh wait no i dont!
i'm sorry but the things i want to write in this post, you would kill me and i think it is near impossible to write more than karen but one more thing
im glad your my bestfriend and i wouldnt have it any other way :) ♥♥♥
p.s RED RING :P

COURDY, :D
I Love how you are my bestfriend and i wouldnt know what to do without you.
I Love how you always make me laugh and can always brighten my mood.
I Love how you can take my shit and still love me afterwards.
I Love the amazing times we have together and how we always end up laughing and calling each other name...s.
I hate how you have more ammo then me.
I swear the only reason you wear rings is to make it hurt more when you punch me. I hate that.
I love how i can call you a whale and you totally fail on the comeback which instantly means i won.
I love how you never come to my performances because you know we are close enough for you to not give a shit about what i do, haha.
I love how you never brought the diary back.
I love how you let me wear you clothes when i sometimes forget them when i come over.
I love how i have my own toothbrush at your house.
I love how innocent we used to be, back in the days of our attempt at a 'Kiss' concert... -_-
I love how your pain makes me laugh.
I love how you fell off the rope swing up the farm.
I love how you tripped over the tent rope in my rumpus room and started crying.
I love how you and i sat on the wall and waved to those... attractive... boys.
OMG, I love how you slipped over in the puddle! ... See More
I love how i can talk whale to you and you understand.
I love how you kick me out of the bed and so i slept on the floor... or how you gave me the tinniest blanket to sleep with..
I love how much i love you.
I love how much you love me.
I love how amazing we are when we are togther.
I love how we are best friends.
I love it how there is too much stuff i love about you to write it in a FB comment.
And how i wrote I Love instead of I Like... :)
You are amazing. :)
xxx

CeeAye is my Best Friend. I bet everyone's Jealous.

Photos from thy phone :)

Well i just uploaded some photos from my phone onto the computer and there were some pretty good ones there :)

Dylan and I reppin our school at Dio sounds :)

I dare say, we were deffinitely the best there (Y)

Under Dee's bed. Haha.

I cant actually remember why she was under there, but i think this was the occasion that Dee and Bee violated our presence... :|

This was like a Wicked reunion, haha.

Off to watch Dave in Wizard of oz. He was the tin man, hence the silver eyes.

He was Amazing, <3 :D

Well this wasnt off my phone but it is an old photo.

I like it though, :D

Twas the morning after the rave at Josh's mum's house, (Y)

Courdy attacked jordan with the hairspray, hahha

And its about the only photo that josh was fully aware was being taken that he consented to. lol.

Hahhahahhhaa.

I ditched out on legal a few weeks ago because i thought Mrs Pryor's bio classed looked more exciting. rofl.

They were doing a play debate on Wilberforce and Huxley, (Y)

These were two members of the church. I just really like Sarah's collar thingo. :D

And phoebe's mullet... :|

This was our concoction. Hahhha.

After Dan's 18th, Dk, Paul, Kirren and I went for a drive to warners bay and had some lunch. How yummy does it look? lol

Then paul had to break back into the house because the door wouldnt unlock,.. :|

He did fit.

Anybody for a photocopier?

The new desks in the library are useful for more than one thing :)

Spot Tim.

This was the lovely message i drew mel on her birthday before she went for her P's.

She was meant to have a study but came and joined in on our chem prac instead. :D

Smart boards are so cool.

I think that will do me for now. The page is going really slow and i think that is an indication i have enough on this post for now.

I really want to watch schindler's list.. but we dont have digital tv.. :| about the only people. hahha.,

Oh Shet. I have a 1000 word english essay due. -_-

.....

NSW state Championships:)

I went to state championships for netball on the long weekend just gone, and this was the first thing i noticed when i walked into the tent. Whoever wrote it failed.

And then we got challenge cards and Ellie's was that she had to be nice to the coach, so she made her a food person. She should get a job as one of those food artist people. There is talent right there.

I also got very motivated in the game against Taree thanks to Mariana, and how the GD's name related to Pais soto's reasoning :O

We were so close to beating Scone who were undefeated, -_-

fucking hoes.

Tell me if you understand this please.. They came first in division 2 last year and yet, they came down to division 3... ? Of which they flogged everyone. Their closest winning margin being 1 which was against us! :)

When we played them their winning was by 10 points minimum.

It felt great.

We lost to teams we shouldnt have, but every team has their bad games.

The last night was pretty fun, :)

CROISANT. hor horr.

Thankyou Tarara.

The Papua New Guinea Team were so nice! :D

They were going to cornroll mine and Brooke's hair except we had to go to bed.. (N)

This was a very bad summary of the weekend but i have work to do.

Garr.

Religion

Sitting in Religion, in the computer room, writing our summary notes on Islam and the 5 pillars. Oh what fun.. -_-
i AM is annoying the shit out of me.. AGAIN.
-_-
FUCK OFFFFFF.

New.

Your just a hoe and i wish things would go back to the way things were.

>:|

Hey yeah,
Why dont you just go and kill my fucking social life while your at it?!

My lightt.

I cleaned out Grannies cupboard yesterday.
It was harder then I thought.
Just looking at all the clothes that defined who she was. All the memories.
It made me cry.
I cannot believe that the woman i depended on for so much, is no longer here.
I cant ask her for guidance or for ideas anymore.
She was always there to help me with sewing... with cooking... with my life.
I miss you immensly Grannie.
I still havent learnt to cope with your absence.
<3

Hairdresser in the making

I just got a job at my Aunty's Hair salon, :D
Its only volunteer shizz, but its going to be so much fun!
Im going to learn different hairstyles and makeup and get to work on her dummies! :)
Im so excited! :D

Ragtime.

Maple Leaf Rag is almost complete!
I love you scott joplin and your amazing composing skills.
:)

Heaven can wait.

 We the kings. Oh my god. I am in love.

Smile Kid C: 

Matherrrmateeqs

Im dropping to general..
Or better yet, totally out of school.

Move back to your other seat please.

Yeeaa.
Snap that BITCH.
Your primary school ways have cut me deep.... -_- grow up squishy.

Heres the cliff.

I do not like exams.
I have 7, and i know this is nothing compared to others, but to me it is wuite a workload!
That is one for every subject.
I have no idea what to study for first. And coming to that dilema, i never actually study.. :S
I would love to absoloutly blitz my exams this time around.
But there is just too much to know (N)
Legal is shit and i wish i could drop it right now.
I want to focus just on maths, chem and bio. And religion too. Becasue i quite enjoy 2u.
English can go jump. And so can legal.

Mr Murray.

I have many wishes for you but above all else, my wish is that you will

never be afraid to BE the GOOD people that you are; that you will always have,

at core, despite the guises, the fronts and the images that we all sometimes

embrace, a DEEP KNOWING that you are all children of God. May the future hold

wonders for you.

-Mr John Murray.

 

You were the most amazing teacher i have ever had. I was taught so much by you, things i will never forget. Thankyou for everything you have done for me and my peers. I am eternally grateful. You have done great things for St Pauls, the school will not be the same without you. Good Bye :'(

That really hurt me.

You do know this so i have no idea why you did it anyway,
Some things just dont need to be said.
Being so forward hurts, and today, well, you really hurt me.
We had talked about how we both despised this type of thing and then you go right ahead and do it anyway.
You knew how i felt, so to just say that straight to my face... please think next time.

You did say you just didnt want to see me get hurt, i understand.
But you chose the wrong time and place to tell me,
and even then you could have been a little less emphatic.

You really hurt me today,

plans.

I really dispise how you make plans with people, plans that you look forward to for ages, and then they go and say something like they never wanted to do it in the first place.
-You know, if you felt that way, why the fuck didnt you say that then?!

enemeneminies.

All good again?
I hope so, I quite like being friends.

The heart never lies.

I love you McFly.
You are my biggest crush.
:)
I have your picture on my wall.
It takes up half of it.
<3

French.

LIKE HELL. why lie.

I really thought all was good. EFFF
Im going to live my own life, if you wanna be in it, grow the fuck up.

The key

The key to not... is to not.
Bring this bad rep back to good. Its for me not you.

Like Hell.

I cant believe you have told your parents all that fucking shit about me. Really, I couldnt care less what you or your family think of me, I just cant believe you would imply that I am fucking worse then you. Excuse my language but you are really low.
I am over it!
I've known you'd done this for ages, but after today, you know, fuck it. You are not worth any more of my time or life.

end

ARGHH,
My effing parents just have to ruin all my plans dont they.
There goes the amazing end to my holidays.

instant no more

That part of my social life is severely suffering from lack of msn on this computer... how sad.
--------
The hidden messages have started, i really hope they dont mean what i think.. i feel like crying again. (/L)

Space Love.

Romance on a rocketship, I love you.

Free Bitch Baby

Lady Gaga and the Best tent going. :)

Minus Kayla.. (N)

Ouch

It just hurts you know.
I couldnt believe you did that..

shit

I should probably just get used to your shit,
seeing as you're full of it.

emotions

Sometimes I think they dont care as much about me as i do for them..
It hurts, you know.

FAIL

I am not enjoying failing all my subjects except chem this year... :|
I feel like i am trying very hard... definitely not showing it... :S

copious amounts.

I have noticed that i tend to update my facebook status ALOT when i am tired....       -_-
Which is every night, thanks to my teachers enjoying drowning me in homework...

Not Told

I am so lost.
If my research has come to the right conclusion, why didn't they tell me?
Or why didn't some one else tell me?
I feel a bit left out, like come on,
We are meant to be Good friends :(
You are one of my bestest, and still i am left not being told.
I know..... Your choice right?
But i thought, being such good friends i would have, like, the right to know.

Door frame.

I hate it how i do something for someone because it is the generous and kind thing to do, but if the positions were reversed, i know indeffinitely, they would not do they same for me.
I am getting to the stage where i feel like a doormat.
I feel like i wanna say no or disagree with them on things i would normally have agreed on, but that wouldn't be me. I like to think of myself as a kind person, but the way i have been treated, Well, its pushing my limits.

Why do i have to be such a pushover? I have way too much empathy and feelings for the way other people feel. I need to get over that and for a change, make myself happy instead of trying for everybody else.

'I can not give you the formula for success, but i can give you the formula for failure- which is; try to please everybody' Herbert Bayard Swope.

Too bad for those who have been wiping their feet on me.
I am being promoted to the doorframe.
You have to walk through me to get what you want.
Not on.

hello

Haha jen, i just did this so you copied and pasted something else so you have replaced the comment from copy. That made no sense. haha, :)

but oh well. (Y)

:)

Wrinkled feet.

I tried working out my age by counting the wrinkles on my scrunched up feet.
It didn't work.
I only got 13... :)

... user and abuser.

Oh my god. 
I am getting so annoyed. 
ARGH, i don't know how to write this down... 


I hate how, in this context, they get everything they want... 

temporary time waster.

Now i am just confused.

Yes or no? 

Right or wrong?

Selfish or unselfish?

One day its EFFIN GO AWAY..... breathe..

The next its all good again. 

My mind is doing weird things to me. 

Am i so badly paranoid and overreacting that i put this friendship at risk because i finally cracked?

Sure they can be amazingly selfish and uncaring, but nobody is perfect. Everybody has their faults they can improve on. They aren't going to change anytime soon but i can always try to help. 

Friends love their friends in every aspect, including their faults. 

An amazing child said this to me today, but in context with their own troubles. 

I believe it applies to my problem as well. 

Sometimes i have to wonder though, will this friendship last? 

Sometimes i don't think THEY believe so. Its just a temporary time waster while they have nothing better to do with their social life...

I hope it does.

Lilac trees.

Lilac trees are blooming in the corner by the gate.
Mammies at her little cabin door.
Curly headed pikkininies coming home so late.
Crying 'cuz his little heart is sore.
All the children romping home from school at night or noon.
None of them with him would ever play.
So Mammy in her lap sat that weeping little chap.
And said in her kind old way.

Now honey you stay in your own backyard
Don't mind what those white childs do.
'Cuz what do you suppose they're a gonna give
A black little coon like you.
So stay on this side of the high board fence
And honey don't cry so hard.
Go out and play as much as you like.
But stay in your own backyard.

>:|

Ohk, they are starting to piss me off.
Its amazing how feelings change so suddenly.
I don't know what brought this on but i really have had enough.
I am sick of being treated like shit.
They're a selfish child who should learn how to be polite and kind.
It would do them the world of good.

I have had it.

Car Windows.

Ive decided that life can be described as looking out a car window.
You sit there and as you whiz by the scenery, things come and go from your view.
But for everything that leaves, something new is definitely going to follow,
Something different from your last outlook and sometimes it will be surprising. Somethings can make you laugh and some make you sad..
But soon enough, these things will pass by your window, leaving room for new scenes to unfold.

Call it what ever you want

WOW, New Zealand was a blast!
Thursday, we flew in and drove to Tauranga to meet my family.
Friday, Uncle James and Auntie Liz got married Officially, :)
We went to the local court house to do all the boring shizz like the lawful vows etc, :)
Then to the chapel to run through the ceremony for tomorrow, AND then to Avalon to set up the reception hall,
OHMYgoodness, it tool us 6HOURS to set up the hall, It looked damn fine but, :)
Saturday, The big day, :)
Even though they officially got married yesterday, we all still class this as the wedding day,
At 4pm, We arrived at the church,
Danced down the aisle,
and had fun! :)
Dk and i Sung them At the beginning From Anastasia, (Y)
Then out to the garden for photos,

THENN, to Avalon for the reception, :)
Us 4 got to be ushers, How cool, (Y)

The time came around for the first dance, After a minute, Nigel and Tracy ran on and said they were doing it wrong, Then us 4 ran on and said that THEY were doing it wrong too, And then busted out in a dance we had prepared earlier, :)
We were the SHIZZZ, :)
I discovered this amazing energy drink called XS :)
WAYYYY better then the crap we got here,
Deff importing some for my next outting with the mates, aye. :)

Sunday was aiight, We cleaned up the reception hall, and then to Mt Maunganoui Hot pools for some relaxation time.... tackling each other to get the ball Jeremy brought.....Relaxing?.. :)
Monday we drove down to Lake rotoma and went for a ski and biscuit, :D
Stayed at a holiday house RIGHT ON THE LAKE (Y) for 2 nights,
Tuesday, Te Puia. Cultural shizz. Very cool! Then back to the holiday house and went for another biscuitt, SO MUCH FUN. The water was THEE flattest i have ever seen water, and it is fresh! Nothing could be better!!!
Its weird, They call bodies of fresh water lakes... and bodies of salt water harbourss. WEIRD KIWIS,




Wednesday was EPIC, Adrenalin rush to the MAX!
Zorbing and then to the Agro Adventures across the road for Jet boating and Swooping and then to the Luge in Rotoroua. (Y) (Y) (Y) (Y)

:D SOOO MUCH FUN! (Y)

I dont have any photos of the luge on the computer yet though... 

Then it was THURSDAY, MY BEEDAY! (Y)

Spent it shopping cuz dk and i wanted to get a few things cuz it is cheaper in nz... the exchage rate and all that... 

Had my FAVE, chinese for din dins (Y) yummo, 

Friday was a lazy day but OMFG, The night was friggin EPICALLY EPIC!

We went to Cornevil!!

Its this masssssive maze made in a corn field so its all these paths cut through the corn, (Y)

Every Friday night they have scary nights, 

All the characters from the scary movies are hiding in the maze and you go around in groups with a torch and they jump out from hiding in the corn and scare the livin daylights out of you, lol

It doesnt sound that scary but OMG, when you fall over trynna run away and they corner you in the corn so your sitting there in the foetal position screaming your lungs out and they are covering you with ther massive cape so no one can save you, Believe me, Its scary, haha. :)

They all looked so real too, 

They do the original scaring and then scope out which is the easiest to scare from your group or which makes the most noise, haha. In both cases... it was me.. :) 

I got shoved into a deserted path and every time Jeremy or Uncle James tried to save me they got pushed back and there was NO way to get to me. Im standing there screaming and dancing in a fit of terror with half the people screaming get out get out run past him! and the other half... including my mum... :/ haha.... screaming Run the other way! ie, into the DESERTED AND PITCH BLACK path... :| NO thankyou, haha. 

I finally got past him when he realised he was holding up like 3 groups. There were only about 5 and 6 in a group so it was pretty mad ass, :)

There were some actors with chainsaws and leaf blowers and syringes filled with water that they squirted at you, It was so cool! :D

To get to the next bit of the maze you had to climb through this old bus and there is a guy in the front seat...looking dead.... with a air gun or something like that, A gun that shot air and made a hell of a noise. And it was on rapid fire too so MAN DID IT make a HELL of a noise. Lol. :)

http://www.cornevil.co.nz/

haha, this isnt my photo, just googled cornevil, :)

I didnt take the camera cuz i would have dropped it in my bid to flight not fight, Haha, 

OHHHHH and the big thing about it was that they actually touch you! In aussie they dont touch the victims, The touching really gets your heart going! Oh mY!! :)

Then we left on Saturday morning and drove to Aukland ariport and flew back home... I dont want to be home! (N) had sooo much fun over seas!!

Shabang-a-bang

Arhh, there has been such a depressing tone to my blogs lately.
I have to be happy now. Or well... I AM happy now.
I have begun again, Started afresh.
With a clean slate i am commencing on a happy note.

We fly out to New Zealand tomorrow for my Uncle's wedding :)
It is going to be amazing fun. A definite way to brighten my life at this point in time,
A lot of dancing and partying is coming my way.
And i am excited.
I will very dearly miss my friends though.
My phone wont work over there.. stupid virgin roaming....
And so my only contact with my loves is FB... yay.

OHH, its my 16th Birthday on Thursday, :)
Celebrating it with my New NZ family, will be a treat. :D

FINALLY, Danielle has finished packing.
We were meant to leave at 6. Its now 8..
Jolly good work there Donk. :)

IM EXCITED :D
woo.
Ill be thinking of you all when Im in New Zealand. and Not at school, haha. :)
BYEE. :)

Not the End, A new Beginning.

Today I said goodbye to my Grannie. 
The last time she would be physically present in any of our lives. 
It was hard to whisper the final words, i didn't want to have to do it. It was too hard. 
But i did, and knowing that it is all over gives me comfort. 
Knowing that she is finally out of pain and put to rest makes me happy. 
I cried a lot today, I couldn't speak properly through the mass of tears streaming down my face. 
I looked out over the audience and saw the faces of some of the people whose lives Grannie had transformed. 
Seeing the love they all showed for my family gave me strength. 
I knew that Grannie was proud of me for having the courage to stand in front of these people and speak. To stand in front of these people and express my utmost admiration for my inspiration to life. For her. 
I sang a beautiful song with my sister. For Good from Wicked. My voice got caught in my throat when i felt a deeper meaning to the words i was singing. I put them in perspective of the day. In view of my relationship with my Grannie. 
Danielle and i held hands for the whole song. I could feel my trembling fingers held steady by her firm grasp. She kept me going. Filling in my notes where i could not. I couldn't have done it without her. <3 Family. 
My loves, Courtney and Dylan came to give me support. THANK YOU. You have no idea how much that meant to me. <3


I am going to start 2010 from here. Make a new beginning. I am going to make this the best year yet. Cherish every moment and live life to the fullest. 
Just like my Grannie did her whole life. <3
ILOVEYOU.forever.and.always. 
My inspiration. My light. 
xx

Your final lesson was how to say goodbye.
I wish you didn't have to teach it.
I wish you didn't have to die.

I love you too much for you to part this world.
I'll keep you in my heart.
With the love of a little girl.

A love so sweet.
A heart so pure.
A body so sick.
Just wanting one cure.

But for now my Grannie, just lay down and rest.
In the heart so soft of God's Heavenly nest.
Open your eyes, open your wings,
Nows your time to fly and do wondrous things.